Never Put Paper Palm Trees On Your Wall
by 1MANGAFAN
Summary: Hahahaha! Substitute teachers can't get me to do my work! Yeah...Random Envy story...He freaks out...And Roy and Havoc show up....CHIBI ROY! Swearing and random tackling. There's yaoi hintings between Envy and Edward. Total piece of fluff.


Note: This is what happens when you give me a laptop in Creative Writing and have paper palm trees plastered up on the wall. So, teachers, don't make this mistake again!!!

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or any of it's sexy sexy characters. If I did, there'd be lots of Edo raping. Yes, and Havoc would be mine. And there's an original character that is never named. Beware. Extreme fluff. Will not make sense.

The blonde haired girl stretched, her small black shirt creeping up her flat stomach. She opened her eye lids revealing starking blue eyes, as deep and mysterious as the Atlantic Ocean. She slammed her locker and adjusted her messenger bag over her shoulder as she shuffled down the sophomore hallway to her first block class, creative writing. She was relatively early, but she wanted to avoid her crazy, psychotic, flag-pole loving ex.

"Stupid freshman, she muttered to herself. As she got to the front of the school, she turned left into the language hallway, and then immediately right into her class. She had this teacher every day, unlike the other creative writing students, and this was simply because she had Sophomores' Honors English on the days she didn't have creative writing.

As soon as she entered her classroom, she was immediately tackled to the ground and sat upon. She groaned at the weight on her chest as a chirping voice rang, "EDO!!!"

Her eyes snapped open. She sighed. 'I knew those paper palm trees weren't trustworthy..' she thought. For who sat upon her with long flowing emerald hair, was none other than Envy, one of the Seven Deadly Sins.

The homunculus twirled the girl's golden hair around with a finger. "Oh, Edo, you thought you could hide, but you really can't. I'll find you every time and drag you back. And then smex you up!!!!!" he giggled madly.

She pushed him off of her. "You idiot. I'm not Edward. Look at my eyes," she pointed out.

The palm tree wannabe 'hmmed' and 'hummed', as if he didn't quite trust her. Oh, wait, he didn't. This was Envy, after all. After a split second of close examination, he pulled back.

"AAAAH!!!! YOU AREN'T EDO!!!" he screamed like a girl, knocking a desk aside.

She sighed. "That's what I've been trying to tell you. But you just suddenly knocked me down to rape me, and whatnot..."

A tear slipped down Envy's cheek. Then all hell broke loose. Water flowed out of his eyes like a broken faucet as he ran around in circles in chibified form.

"DAMN MY COLOR BLINDEDNESS!!!!!" Just as he was by a window, there was a huge 'BOOM' as the rubble of the wall toppled Envy. Out of the smoke, walked the most gorgeous man in uniform. Roy Mustang. He stopped, posing, as he flashed a winning smile.

"Another one bites the dust!!" he cackled, his shiny black hair waving in the imaginary air drift that the air machine behind him had created.

"Roy, shut the fuck up," an exasperated voice from behind him cursed. Unplugging the air and fog machine, the man came into view. Jean Havoc. The girl started teetering, sure that she had died in the explosion and gone to bishie heaven.

Havoc looked over at her with concern. "Miss? Are you alright?"

He was interuppted, however, by a chibified Roy beating on his back. "You baaaastard!!! You ruined my entrance!!! You MEEEEAAAANIE!!!" His faucet eyes broke as well, a waterall of tears escaping his tear ducts. Havoc gritted his teeth, not able to stand his commanding officer any longer. He took one hand, and smacked the Chibi Mustang on the neck right at a pressure point, causing the colonel to pass out.

"Well, now that that's taken care of..."

The girl flung herself at Jean. "OOOoooh, HAVOC!! Take me! I'm yours!!"

He grinned. "As you wish." He swooped her up into his arms, and walking over Roy, left the scene of the crime and inevitably, the real world.

But back next to the wall, there was another paper palm tree, shifting its eyes slowly, and waiting for the right time to make its move...

END

End of the story chat:

Well, that was all very...random. The girl(who I really modeled after myself) has block scheduling at her school(which is really my school), which means that there are only 4 classes a day, including home room, and there are two days: gold day and green day. Well, you get the idea, neh?

I would love it if you all reviewed, and helped me on my comedy!! This wasn't as good as my Gravitation parody, but well...I don't know. Review me, and I'll review one of your stories.

Oh, and if you have any ideas for stories you'd like me to write, please tell me. I'm always open to new ideas and stories.


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